the bonbible
(malcolm in the middle)

malcolm in the middle is an american sitcom that ran from 2000-2006, created by linwood boomer. it follows a family of four boys and and their two odd parents (i say this affectionately). as with most family sitcoms, there aren't ever really long-running plots, just the odd two or three episode arcs amid a vast sea (7 seasons) of unbridled weird familyisms. the show tries at first to convey morals by way of a fourth-wall breaking monologue by malcolm. i don't know how long they go on, but they're functionally quite useless as the show is not grounded in our reality.

it may seem at first that this is a normal, although perhaps crueler, family doing normal, cruel things, but they are far from it. this is not a show that depends on entertaining misunderstandings and intrafamily drama to maintain its ratings. it insteads opts to pursue the most absurd situations it can conceivably justify as happening in the early aughts. this isn't to say that there are NO normal episodes, there are plenty of crushes and stupid fights and funny, normal, things. but the things that characterize the show and the characters is the unbridled and completely unrealistic antics they engage in.

country girls destroy a building in the process of having a party? done. hal accidentally applies to some kind of men in black agency? absolutely. reese attempts to throw a party over an unsupervised weekend and instead ends up with a meth lab in his parent's garage? you know it! the charm of malcolm in the middle isn't just in the ridiculously clever humor, but also in its genre-defying world and the both ridiculous and realistic lives the people who inhabit it live.

my history

i was introduced to malcolm in the middle as a child and it quickly became a family staple. we would fry knockoff fig newtons in butter, put yogurt on top, and then watch our little episodes. it's the one thing i can talk about with my sibling without any looming threat of getting into an argument because we can agree that it's one of the best pieces of television ever. this show has settled itself into my identity and psyche, and it's one of the most important pieces of television to me and arguably to the the 21st century sitcom.

malcolm is a compelling character to me because his only real redeeming quality is that he's a genius, but he still can't get people to like him because he's just a kind of unpleasant, acerbic person. i really identify with his complaining-isms.

favorite episodes

s7e13 - mono

one of the most influential episodes from when i first watched the show. i heart mother son bonding. also i think the bedazzled everything is one of the best hair/makeup and set designs ever.

s5e9 - dirty magazine

it's got it all. lesbians. the ACLU. francis waltzing with his boss. hal forced by lois his wife to flirt with his boss. reese psychologically damaging dewey. literally what's not to love okay.

s3e14 - cynthia's back

my sweet girl cynthia comes home rocking some awesome new cat sweaters. has all the staples of malcolmcynthia bestfriendisms and i love it.

s7e18 - bomb shelter

i dont really understand dance but i love the dance scenes in this ep and also digging into malcolm's shallowness is awesome. who are you to judge brah.

s6e10 - billboard

one of the most entertaining episode plots #to me. i love that reese invents feminism at the end.

s3e13 - reese drives

literally me when i drive going 25 on the highway

malcolm most awesome ever

malcolm is the middle of five children, and the show begins with him finding out he's got an IQ of 165. he is promptly moved to the "special" (accelerated) class, where he finds himself to still be at the top of the food chain in terms of intelligence. he's a weird little nerd who doesn't want his social status to be changed by the fact that he's "different." he spends the entire show fighting to be liked on even a basic level while also trying to not embarrass himself AND get a girlfriend. does not work out. sad! the wiki has a lot more fun info if you're interested in learning more about him. this page is really just about why i like him.

i personally interpret malcolm as incredibly autistic. i don't think it was intentional by any means but kids who are written to be weird outcasts sometimes hit the boxes (for me at least). he would definitely fall into the savant stereotype unfortunately but i really find his social fumbles and difficulty fitting in to be relatable. in other ways he's just a normal kid engaging in near-lethal shenanigans. theres also this air of needing to fit in and not being able to. i think its so funny that he wears khakis and tucks in his shirts in the pilot when he's still in regular class and then goes straight into wearing flannels over untucked tshirts and cargo pants... he is really clinging to his old normal life. he just doesn't want to be weird. i get it buddy.

youll never meet a guy quite as uncomfortable in situations as this particular one. he's on another level of pathetic that none of us could ever even dream of reaching. he & cynthia are literally autism besties incarnate. click the thumbnails below to see my art of them :-)

cynthia and malcolm are my silly goobers forever. theyre best friends. theyre arch-rivals and the ultimate foils. cynthia is happygolucky weirdo who believes in the inherent kindness of humanity and gets upset when she realizes that people are cruel. she's a silly autistic girl with a weird laugh just like mine. picks up on ZERO social cues but she's got the spirit. she thanks the food she eats. she's a genius. malcolm is an cynic savant who makes her laugh and treats her with decency that literally no other boy in the show affords her. (ie the other krelboynes call her names and reese is downright objectifying and demeaning). though their relation only spans four episodes over the course of a few seasons, this is enough for us to see that they're perfect friends. if i could change one thing about the show it would be to make cynthia a consistently reccurent character. her presence would have brought the show to a whole new level. this is my love letter to cynthia sanders sleep well sweet princess the world does not deserve you

#my lesbian collection

cant believe my sitcom from the early aughts has more lesbians than almost all of the shows i like from the 2020s combined (hyperbole but. almost not)(cynthia is the only noncanon one. canon to me though.)

conclusion

if you're curious to get to know more about me and my whimsical spirit, watching malcolm in the middle is the place to start. i believe it has altered me psychologically in the many years i've spent watching and rewatching it. malcolm and i are spiritually bound through our shared love of science and being grouchy. i hope that when i die i am transported into the wonderful world he inhabits. thank you for reading this far, you are now legally obligated to leave a comment in my guestbook if you start watching malcolm in the middle or have watched it in the past, ok ^_^?